Same Sex Marriage: P-R-O-B-L-E-M-S and P-R-O-M-I-S-E-S for the Local Church by Tim Erson
Same-sex marriage is legal in many states. One day it may be legal in every state. A challenge to the local Christian church is, how shall we respond?
P-R-O-B-L-E-M-S and P-R-O-M-I-S-E-S are two acrostics that consider two possible responses and two ultimate journeys.
P-R-O-B-L-E-M-S looks at the possible journey of a church that says “Yes” to same-sex unions:
P – Parishioners will leave the church. The congregation will divide. Many families with young children will be among the first to go because they will want their children to believe that the Bible is still relevant. They will be followed by many seniors who believe the Bible is true and who have been the back-bone of financial support, committee membership and gifts to missions. Those who leave will be accused of being prejudiced and/or homophobic. However, most will leave because they see same-sex marriage sanctioned by the church as heresy.
R – Rejecting the Bible’s teaching about God’s design for marriage will open the door for a congregation to reject what the Bible has to say about other important issues of faith and the Gospel. One might even believe the comment I saw posted by a reader on the internet after a news story in USA TODAY. Since homosexuals are created that way by God, and since the Bible calls homosexuality a sin, it just goes to show that ‘God is not perfect.’
O – Observant young people will become confused and disillusioned about the true meaning of Christian marriage. They will show less joy and interest in church matters. They will move away from the church and absorb a more worldly view of sexuality. God’s will, God’s purpose, and God’s plan for them in marriage will be only minor themes in their life.
B – Bible study and Bible reading will become a less important discipline. The Bible will lose its authority as the supreme guide and standard for daily living and true spiritual growth. The worldly wisdom of articulate men and women and the oft mistaken notions of individuals will replace the God-given guidelines for life found in the Bible.
L – Legal problems will ensue. Church sponsored adoption agencies and caseworkers who place children with heterosexual and not homosexual couples will face charges of discrimination. The belief that a child needs a mom and a dad will be a matter of debate.
Studies show that children need the consistent and prolonged nurture of a mother and a father to have the greatest chance for psychological security, success, happiness, maturity and love later in life. By its action the church would deny the developmental importance of a child’s need for a mother and a father. The church would also be declaring that the right of a same sex couple to marry and adopt children or to conceive them through a sperm bank or surrogate is more important than the right and need of a child to grow up in a home that includes the love and care of a mom and a dad. Studies reveal that children who grow up in homes without fathers are 2 to 4 times more likely to end up in jail. The consistent presence of a father and of a mother for the first 18 – 21 years of life is optimal for a child’s development.
E – Energy and resources needed to combat other real world problems such as spiritual and physical poverty, hunger, illness, broken homes, and the support of missionaries would be less available. The ability to be Christ’s ambassador to individuals in a confused, lost and devouring culture would be diminished. Since the church would show itself quite mixed up about the basics of its own faith, the financial and volunteer support of disenchanted congregants would decrease.
M – Marriage would have to be redefined. Since there is no provision for same-sex marriage in the Bible an addendum based on this widely debated human construct would have to supplement what has served as God’s Word for 2000 years. Historically, when human ideas are brought to the level of Biblical truth they produce false teachers and off-shoot religions.
S – Support for people who struggle with same-sex attraction and who seek to leave that lifestyle would be less available. Same-sex attraction that relates to the pain of abuse, molestation as a child, deep hurt and/or anger that leads to rebellion will remain hidden and with less opportunity for resolve. For us to believe that all who claim to be homosexual are simply born that way is for us to be blind to a host of influences that relate to the environment, child abuse, emotional trauma, perverse surroundings, peer pressure, relational problems, and commercially-based media outlets that openly exploit and pervert sex to sell products without regard for the chaos and confusion they cause in the hearts and minds of children.
P-R-O-M-I-S-E-S considers the journey of the church that would say “No” to same-sex unions:
P – Persecution, protests, discrimination suits, and inflammatory remarks may be made against the church that says, “No” to same-sex marriage. Paul told Timothy, Indeed, all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will be persecuted (II Tim 3:12). Historically, churches that oppose cultural drifts that run counter to God’s Word are persecuted. In His message to the disciples on the night before He died, Jesus said, If the world hates you, know that it has hated Me before it hated you. (John 16:8)
R – Responding in love, Christians who rely on God’s Word for guidance will pray for those who persecute them. They will do all they can to understand them based on the Light of God’s Word. They will seek to educate themselves about this issue and ask God to guide them in reaching out to those who hurt and are in need of God’s love. The organization NARTH (National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality) describes itself as a community of psychiatrists, psychologists, certified social workers, professional and pastoral counselors, behavioral scientists and laymen from a variety of backgrounds such as law, religion, and education. They are an example of an organization that offers scientifically based articles and resources to help one better understand the complexity of homosexuality and the hope that there is to overcome it.
O – Observant youth will not be deceived into believing that God’s Word is outdated for the challenging issues of today. Jesus cares about young people. He cares about their response to Him. In the Bible, He demands respect for their budding faith. In His own words Jesus said, Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to stumble, it would be better for him if, with a heavy millstone hung around his neck, he had been cast into the sea. (Mark 9:42) A church that denies the truth and authenticity of God’s Word is in danger of creating roadblocks that may impede or snuff out the faith of a child.
M – Ministries to individuals who struggle with same-sex attraction and seek to leave the homosexual lifestyle would be better recognized and supported. Programs such as, HarvestUSA, Life-Ministry of New York, HA (Homosexuals Anonymous) and others, compassionately offer hope and help to people who want to leave a homosexual lifestyle. These organizations include many professional counselors and staff who are themselves, ex-homosexuals.
I – Interest in the Biblical meaning of marriage would become a priority topic to investigate, discuss and better understand. How did marriage start? What is its purpose? What does the Bible mean when it compares the marriage of a man and a woman to the relationship of Christ and the Church?
S – Study of God’s Word will increase. Believers will want to know more about the Bible’s relevancy on other issues in the world today. As they study it, believers will find the Bible’s words to be, living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit…able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart. (Hebrews 4:12)
E – Examination of self would be an important discipline for members of the church that says “No.” Individuals would be encouraged to examine their own lives and recognize that none of us is perfect. We all fall short of the glory of God. The need for daily repentance related to personal thoughts, feelings, actions and inactions that diminish God’s love and the Gospel would remind members to remain humble and to not judge or condemn people who struggle with same-sex attraction.
S – Shedding light on God’s Word will allow the church to be a greater witness to the culture at large. Rather than being identified as a church that finds a way to interpret the Bible in the light of the culture, such a church would be identified as one that stands ready, willing and able to inform the culture in the Light of the Bible.
I believe that the bottom line for the church is not, Should we favor or oppose same-sex marriage? The bottom line and the question that must be answered first is, What do we think of the Bible? Is it or is it not God’s Word? Is it or is it not relevant for the world today?
How a local church answers these questions will determine almost exclusively how it will respond on the issue of same-sex marriage. Either way, what the Bible teaches about marriage appears to be without question on a fast-track collision course with cultural influences that seek to redefine it.
Passages that speak about marriage and homosexuality include: Genesis, chapters 2 and 19; Romans, chapter 1; First Corinthians, chapters 6 and 7; and Jude. When Jesus talked about God’s design for marriage in Mark 10:6-8, He made reference to God’s original design in Genesis chapter 2.
